Holidays Are Tough

It's that time of year where we are to be of good cheer.  But as a new widow I find that December is hitting me like a ton of bricks.  I think Abby senses it too.

A couple of Sundays ago we sang the song "Oceans" in worship. Abby, beside me, started crying. This song was a part of Jesse's last night with us, and it brought back memories to her.  Later that day she and I went to Fired Up Pottery off Monona Drive in Madison. I made her a glass fused pendant of different hues of blue glass...I told her it was her Oceans Pendant.

They finished a book in Literacy today called the Outsiders. Apparently a character passes, and the hospital scene and his death is described. It brought those memories back to Abby again. Fortunately she and her teacher had worked out a code at the beginning of the school year for when she would get upset and need to step out of the room to compose herself. Afterall, writing is to reflect one's soul, and unpleasant experiences can arise and be relived through the assignments.

It has been six months, and perhaps that is the window where life becomes a little more calm after the storm of a death, and the heart ache really sets in.  Kyle, is still, as unemotional as ever. I wonder if he will ever outwardly show his feelings. I am proud of how he has stepped into the role of being man of our household.

So it is the season...I admittedly have no motivation to put up a decoration. Christmas music, which usually puts me in a great mood, has me shedding tears instead.  It is simply a reminder that my husband won't be with us on Christmas morning. I mourn the loss of those special holidays that were to be a part of our future, a part of growing old together. Although I know that Jesse is going to be having his most glorious Christmas ever in heaven, I feel robbed of his presence.

I miss his gentle gaze, his touch, everything that made up who he was before he became sick. It was really hard to work today, I really just wanted to crawl back in to bed. I did not accomplish much, but I did refrain from succumbing to a behavior that would not serve me or my family. It is not what Jesse would have wanted.  As my friend Sherri said this evening, he is always with me. Each and every day. I just have to get used to the "with me" being of the spiritual world rather than the physical.

And so it is December, it too shall pass, and I will actually be glad for it I feel. I feel for everyone who has experienced a loss and struggles at this time.  I know people still visit this blog, which is pretty interesting since it has been so dormant. I am putting my energies towards Purely Living Wellness and growing my business to sustain my family. Thanks for visiting - and if you are mourning this holiday season - may you find some sense of peace through the tears.

Blessed by two wonderful children,
Rita

Freedom - Independence from toxins Would Be Nice

Several weeks have gone by since Jesse passed. He may be gone but I am not done ...I am continuing my research. Listening to webinars.
Two friends have been diagnosed with cancer since his passing. I keep on studying and learning so that I can continue to help others.

I am still looking for answers - not that it will change my status as a widow/single parent - but it is information that could help others, and this is truly what God has called me to do.

I was surprised at how quickly Jesse's on line medical chart became inaccessible. I did not have a chance to download his last lab results. I would have liked to have had the graph combining all his PSAs - as the last one would have shown a substantial drop.  Another positive was his hemoglobin had come up above the threshhold for needing a transfusion. Had I already mentioned this? the oncologist said it could never happen...but it did. Thanks to Mike "Doc" Witort and the last few weeks off the Rx.

What I really want to read the fine print on is the Oxycontin and Oxycodeine painkiller side effects.  What issues have been reported as a side effect for lung. Any ruptured lungs perhaps?

I do wonder if Jesse and I had been given full disclosure on all the potential side effects...would we have gone the route of medical marijuana for pain control. It doesn't kill a person like prescription drugs do....but since it is not legal in Wisconsin Jesse wanted to keep things legal...despite my four books stating the healing benefit and testionies of cancer being cured by THC compoment of this God-given herbal remedy.

We are gatheringn to celebrate Independence Day. Freedom.  How about freedom from Big Pharma. Freedom from Monsanto. Freedom from chemicals in our food that make fora population in which cancer is growing and growing and growing.

We celebrate Independence, and I encourage all to seek independence from toxic chemicals - in your food, in your skin care lotions and make up, on your lawns and parks. We truly are held prisoner in a toxic country. Perhaps we need a new freedom movement.  Now that sounds a bit radical.... a bit of anger no doubt. Jesse's death was unnecessary.  We were ignorant of side effects. It's wrong.

So for those on Rx - ask for the DEEAILED print out from your pharmacist. There are always two. The short list and then the one that has all the additional things that can go wrong. Read it.

Peace to you,
Rita

Another Sign from Heaven

Jesse's favorite bird. a bluebird, landed yesterday in our yard outside the kitchen window where his sister Daleah and I ware going through sympathy cards. This is an odd time of year as bluebirds usually do not gather in our yard until fall migration.

It was a sign - the bluebird of happiness - note how the color of the bluebird matches the color of the hooded sweatshirt he loved to wear. Coincidence? I think not. I suspect we will receive many signs from the heavens - since Jesse was fond of all flying creatures. If you are missing him - keep your eyes open for gifts dropped from heaven.

Jesse is reassuring us of the joy he is living in Heaven.

There is peace, joy, wholeness, and BEAUTY of God's creation surrounding him at all moments. Here on earth, Jesse used binoculars to see the details of a bird.  But imagine, in Heaven, every detail is magnified and his eyes are soaking up the intricacy and beauty beyond his imagination. 

Jesse is in his intermediate home that we call Heaven. One day we, who believe in Jesus and have asked Him into our hearts, will be together for eternity on the New Earth.  If you loved my Jesse, and want to learn more on how to have relationship with the Lord so that you can be reunited with him again for all eternity, please don't hesitate to talk to myself, or Kyle, or Abby.

The Creator of all longs to know you and wipe out any fear you may have of dying. It is a beautiful place to be ...to know where you are going, free of gnashing teeth, and instead - Holiness and complete, divine joy.

Peace to you!

Rita

A Bed Too Large

His side of the bed

Lies empty and forlorn

My side has a broken heart

And a body that’s worn

His side had a man

Who held my hand while we slept

Who made me feel safe

And wiped every tear that I wept

Our vows were forever

‘Til death do us part

The bed seems so huge

Like the hole in my heart

So I cry myself to sleep

And I cry myself awake

To be strong another day

Until my soul He doth take.
(Rita Shimniok 6-11-15)

My first thought every night (or early morning) when I crawl in to bed is how big the bed is without Jesse. It does not matter that it had been empty for months as the sciatica kept him from lying in our bed, we both thought he would be back in it and we could love and cuddle one another once again.

Bit was not a part of the bigger plan. I do not question our holistic treatment. I do question how one man could have so many medical issues thrown on him all at once, and I do get angry and ask, no, scream, WHY?!!!!!!  I curse Satan and yell at it - Jesse did not waiver in his faithfulness, and God brought him Home. Like Job, Jesse's victory through death prevailed.

Jesse and I prayed many times for this journey not to pass without learning from it. We learned much, about each other, about God, the darkness in this world, and the love that binds a couple together through the worst of times. Our eyes were opened.

As I rise up to this day, my eyes will continue to be open to the lessons yet to come, and they will continue to shed tears for the emptiness in my bed.

Peace,

Rita

You're Invited to a Celebration of Life

Peace Amidst Great Sorrow

Here I sit, my first full day as a widow. I hear birds chirping, singing and squirels chattering and scolding. It is beautiful in this backyard. Jesse's Oasis.
This is where he loved to enjoy a cup of coffee early in the morning and meditate upon God's word. Evenings we would sit around the fire pit as a family, making smores, and Abby often sitting in her father's lap.
My heart has such a huge hole in it right now. One might think I would be more prepared for this, but I am not. Jesse had been improving. He had more strength and was using the trapeze over his bed to work his arms. He slept a lot last week and we stayed ahead of the pain making sure he took a dose regularly. He asked me to help work his legs both Saturday and Sunday, and he had good strength in the PT exercices. Best of all these past few days he was having no pain, and this past weekend he took very little pain medication.
Late Sunday afternoon something changed. He was being especialy grateful ...as if thanking me several times a day was not enough. He was gazing off, not really seeing what was around him. I couldn't figure out what was going on. Jesse said, "Lord?" with his eyes fixated towards the ceiling.
"Just a little more time with my family please". And quite honestly, at this point I started to freak out. I realized that I was losing him, and the Lord had come to take him Home.  I asked if he wanted Abby and Jesse, and he said yes.  We gathered around his bed, with the wren singing outside the window on the new bird house that had been occupied shortly afer it was put up, and prayed over him. The kids left the room.
Jesse's breathing changed and I wasn't sure what was happening. His voice was barely audible. I asked if he wanted an ambulance and he said yes. I called Agrace, and then 911,
For whatever reason, a lung had ruptured, and the hospital staff was able to use a procedure to drain the fluid. I wno't go into details, but he surprised the doctor on staff that night by resting comfortably. He had no pain, and those of us along his bedside, including friends from our amazing church life group, tapped. Yes, Jesse asked for tapping - on his trigger points to release endorphins for the pain. I think the hospital staff were surprised every time they asked if he had pain and he said he did not think so.
Friends had grabbed the tablet from home and we played his favorite praise songs by Fernando Ortega for him.  Monday morning Jesse's breathing started to be laborous again, and as he took his lasts, "Our Great God" was playing softly in his ear. Each time we sang this song in worship my quiet and more reserved husband, would lift both of his hands to the sky in PRAISE to his Heavenly Father. I prayed for his journey, that Jesse find full peace and embrace fully the presence of the Light and enter into eternal joy and rest.
"Hallelujah! Glory be to Our Great God! Hallelujah! Glory be to our Great God."  Death has lost it's sting, there is VICTORY in Jesus.
Jesse was never much of a writer, and the only book he ever read cover to cover was the Holy Bible, but when he did share on this blog it was with intent and on purpose. He wanted YOU to know that the the most perfect love in this world comes from having relationship with Jesus. I hope those of you seeking acceptance andlove in this world will find his words, and open your heart to his loving messages.
As I type this, a chickadee leaves the bathng rock, and a white feather flutters to the ground. Yes, my love is with me always. My heart cries out in anguish, but my soul knows that we will be reunited once again, when I journey into the everlasting arms of Jesus.

As Jesse said at the end of his posts, PEACE!
Rita

ASK. BELIEVE. RECEIVE.

The title for today's update comes from a phone conversation I had with Mike "Doc" Witort wwek.

We BELIEVE and TRUST that God is at work through this journey. God does not need any help in  healing people....that's for sure. His omnipotence is fully capable of whatever He decides to do.

We had a visit Thursday from a lovely couple in their 80s, members of Full Speed Impact Ministry. Gene has a pretty cool story - he was at the Agrace center for a while, having been diagnosed with prostrate cancer, metastacized  - grapefruit sized tumor sticking out of his neck. The short of Gene's story is he was prayed over, miraculously healed, and left Agrace. Before leaving Gene did go to heaven...with a choice to go right, and enter into the great peace and joy that awaited him, or go left and return to his wife. Because much was left unsettled, Gene chose to return to his wife to help her even though he very much wanted to join the divine realm. Yes, Heaven does exist. Gene now ministers to and prays with others.

We sense something big is going to happen. Of course we do not know what God has in store for us, but we do know that He had designed the body to heal and wants that for each of us. I know many have questioned the wisdom in not using the Lupron therapy offered to Jesse - and am repeating a previoous post from early on in the journey that explains the side effects, which include "may produce tumor in the bones". Everyone we know who has had Lupron treatment has had a 2nd go round, with cancer in the bones, and all but one (whose 2nd bout with cancer began shortly after Jesses') have passed. Jesse was aso not a candidate for chemo or radiation - but even if he had been - he does not feel that God would ask him to poison his body to heal it. It makes no sense to either of us, especially when one reads the bible to learn of all that God has provided for healing.
So a quick update - today marks one month from which Jesse had his first therapy session with Mike "Doc" Witort, from Chicago. I won't explain all that Mike does when he spends 3 hours plus with us, but I will share that we had lab work results this week and the numbers look good.  The PSA dropped 400 points, which has really surprised Jesse's family doctor - and the hemoglobin is also higher- even more puzzling to the MD. Alkaline phosphatase is higher than it should be - which according to Dr. Weber indicates one of two things: A - cancer has further metastacized, or B - the liver is having isues. He expressed confusion about possible spread because of the significant drop in PSA.
Of course I am questioning the doctor.... and said it could very well be the liver, correct? He agreed. I also asked - "couldn't the higher number be a side effect of the Oxycontin and Oxycodeine Jesse was taking for pain?"  He was a bit taken aack, but after a couple of "well, well", he said, "yes you are right, it could be." (I was taking Abby to her concert when he called and was desperate to take notes of the conversation - and quickly gave Abby my tablet in the car and had her put it on video so I could get the audio to playback.

So this is our numbers update.  A new HCG test was mailed out on Monday. Jesse is off the Rx narcotics and his body is detoxing nicely. I am learning a lot from Mike Witort about the symptoms of a body coming off narcotics. We have other means of helping to manage his pain - which does make him sleep a lot.  His family and other visitors have noticed his strength improving.

Putting a few new messages on our entry door (whcih is by the garage for anyone who comes to volunteer or visit - front door doesn't work). We are not accepting condolences. Jesse plans to get out of this bed, and God gave Abby a vision in her dreams Weds. night that her dad was up and getting spices out of the cupboard and working in his wood shop. From many people I have talked to - the terminally ill KNOW when they are dying - God lets them know it is time to get affairs in order.
Point of this sign - we appreciate prayers and visits - but ask that your thoughts not be mournful but lifted in celebration and gratitude for the AUTHORITY God has over sickness and evil. One new message reads:

THIS IS NOT A
HOUSE OF THE
DYING BUT A
HOUSE OF THE
LIVING. (emphasis on living)
Therefore, we celebrate each day in
gratitude for the healing that IS taking place.

Our doorway seems to be revolving with Agrace coming in to help, family and friends volunteering to sit with Jesse so I can leave for a couple of hours to work my business or do errands. I got pretty tired as I typed this so hope it makes sense.

Peace,
Rita

Letting Go

“Let go of your concerns! Then you will know that I am God. I rule the nations. I rule the earth.” (Psalm 46:10 GW)

Last week Friday I went in to Madison to get jugs of ionic alkaline water from a friend who had invested in such a water system when she had had cancer years ago. She has been kind to offer it to us, and we were using it until a local naturopath said that since we have a well, it wasn’t necessary.

Since becoming bedridden three weeks ago, with Jesse’s left leg totally atrophying and no strength to walk any longer, Jesse has become weak. Being bedridden will catapult you into declining health faster than anything – we are designed to move. Movement is life.

When my friend heard how poorly Jesse was doing she offered the water again, and I decided it can only help. As I arrived a young house finch was frightened from the nest on top her porch light. He struggled, and could not release himself from his capturer – a piece of string entangled around his leg. I went around back so the baby bird could resettle into the nest.

Obtaining the water from my friend, I told her what I needed to release the bird. A dark pillowcase, a fine point scissors and tweezers – this was not my first experience in rescuing baby birds. I managed to free the fledgling from the rug strands the nest had been made with, placed him back in the nest and we stepped aside. He floundered a bit on the porch floor, caught his bearings and flew off to a tree across the street where his parents happily welcomed him.

I thought about that little bird and the incident. I believe everything happens for a reason.  Our friend reached out and offered water to help bring Jesse’s  pH back up (and it is coming up, thankfully, with everything we are doing), and I was meant to arrive to release the little bird, that was languishing as his breast bone was protruding.

God was giving me a message. And it is not the first time I have heard this – as my charismatic Arbonne friends have delivered a divinely inspired message several times to me, that God is telling me to “let go and let God”, as my wise friend Bernie used to tell me.  So I had a good cry, or several. Coming to terms that my husband and I may not celebrate our 26^th year.

And I’ve cried while caring for Jesse, and he asks, “don’t you think I will get well?” I told him straight, that if he doesn’t eat the food Doc Mike is telling me to feed him, that he won’t be able to get well.  He is tired of smoothies, and I can understand that.  We are certainly not getting in the three a day that we are supposed to to  bring about healing. I am trying to be creative and find other means to increase his pH and oxygen levels.

I have a lot more to share as the past several days have had so much going on, but I wrote a chapter earlier and I forgot to save the Word doc…and it disappeared. Which is why I am writing and sharing that I have let my husband go and am at peace in my heart.  If  it is not God’s will to heal him then so be it. If it is God’s will to heal a man whom friends are coming to see and I can see their expectations of death, then to Him be all the glory.

Before I close on this note, however, I want to add that Doc Mike was up to do a treatment on Jesse yesterday, and as I helped Jesse get everything he needed before retiring for the night, Jesse said in a strong voice, “I am going to be out of this bed soon!”

God is at work. I sense it, I feel it…and I am “Letting Go and Letting God”.

In His peace,

Rita

Finding Ozone Therapy At Last!

Hello all - thank you always for your continued prayers. Jesse's left leg has atrophied completely and he is now housebound. There are different theories...the chiropractor feels it is bulged disc, nerve neuropathy; the oncologist is suggesting cancer has spread to left leg; and our new team member, Mike Witort, suggests from his advanced studies on the side effects of Rx and narcotics in particular, that the atrophy is due to the pain killers.

Last week, while researching treatments for lymphatic stasis, I came across a man who is now our new partner in healing.  Mike"Doc" Witort from over the border - Chicago burbia. For lymphatic stasis the treatment is the same as what Dr. Tony Jimenenz from the Hope 4 Cancer Clinic in Baja, California had said for bulged discs – ozone therapy. 

The FDA approved ST8 device is the unit being used for treatment with many excellent reviews and testimonies. Of course the equipment is the cost of a car…not an option.  Long story short, I was looking to talk with people who had first hand experience with the ST8 and Witort’s International Institute for Preventative Medicine came up as offering treatments with the ST8. I called, and learned that Mike  travels (around the world at times) to help people wake up well again from cancer and other chronic illnesses, if they cannot come to him. He was named the international health professional of the year in 2008, had a women’s health clinic in Janesville.

Mike has travelled here twice with his healing equipment – the ST8 and vibrational medicine equipment, used to help stimulate the nerves in Jesse’s atrophied legs. The purpose is to stimulate and release the endorphins that help the body manage pain naturally and get the muscles working agian. Mike, known as “Doc”, worked on Jesse from 3:30 pm to 8:45 pm. this past Saturday, and again for 4 hours on Wednesday. He did massage and reflexology and was able to reduce the swelling in Jesse’s legs as he worked.

Taking Jesse’s pH he was quite acidic – Mike said the Oxy Rx (check out the very extensive list at drugs.com) Jesse is/was on are extremely toxic, and acidic, and negate much of what we have been trying to accomplish. He runs a drug free healing program, and we learned more about the debilitating side effects of narcotic prescriptions. Jesse is on a special smoothie diet. Mike was familiar with Arbonne protein and its absorbency and said by all means - add to his healing smoothie recipe for the vegan protein. I am grateful for that as Jesse’s appetite is only so big.  We are using natural pain kilers in mega amounts, which also help bring inflammation down.

It is good to have another person involved. Pineapple is packed with pain killing bromelain enzyme... I had learned that a while ago in the podcasts I've been tuning into, and briefly considered giving Jesse lots of pineapple, but the wife in me said "nope, he doesn't really like pineapple."   Mike Witort, former Navy, takes a militant approach - he tells Jesse is not about liking, it's about surviving.  We are burning through fresh pineapple and bananas like no tommorrow, and we may need a rotating delivery for these from Costco to help out. I can't keep running to Costco 3x a week like I did last week.

ETC has a great Patient Care advocate with the health plan and we were given the name of a home health care provider in the insurance network today. I am definitely wearing out, but Witort said to keep it up - he hopes to have Jesse back on his feet in a few.

Jesse asks that everyone please keep the prayers coming. He wants to get the strength back in his legs. His left leg in particular. The fingers in his right hand started tingling a few weeks ago  We are grateful that his bulging lymph nodes have receded since DOC Mike’s visit and the pain is lessening.  Sunday he had a bit of a detox headache, but that has passed. 

You can learn about Mike Witort at  www.wakeupwell.org 

I encourage you to check out his posted articles - especially on the effects of Rx narcotic drugs.  Share it with your doctors and friends who may need Mike's help. I am so grateful to have found Ozone therapy at last... Frustrated that it was so difficult to locate a practitioner, and I hope to eventually get all our resources posted at the Purely Living Wellness website soon so that others dealing with chronic disease can find help. It  should not be so hard to find these resources, but it is.

-Blessings,
Rita

Having Peace Amidst Questions

Jesse has been wanting to post, and is wanting to do so using the laptop ETC had provided, but I haven't had a breather to walk him through the password - as it automatically logs me in.
Since learning he has Lyme's, in addition to the cancer, we have been learning more about how to eliminate the parasites and fungus. Frequency medicine is effective with Lyme's (Jesse's cousin, recovered from Lyme's, is a believer) - and we are blessed to already have the Wellness Pro to combat this newly found, but probably pre- cancer, issue.
Jesse's immune system has so many issues to tackle that his system is overwhelmed...I can relate!  Although it is all overwhelming we do have peace and know that God has this, no matter what.
A new pain began last week Thursday or Friday, when I had taken our son Kyle to Springfield for the Lincoln Funeral Train (booked out a year ago and trying to keep some normalcy in our children's lives).
Jesse describes the pain in his left leg as primarily being in the knee up to the hip, and settling into his seat. It seems to come and go and is not constant, worsening with movement.  The chiropractor feels it is sciatica. Two weeks ago we had been told the cancer pain is coming from the lymph nodes. Indeed, they have been backed up for so long now it does not surprise me.  It is hard to say what exactly is the cause for the pain right now. The oncologist put in a request for a palliative care nurse to come out and do an assessment.
The latest HCG holds steady, which means the cancer has not worsened, but we are at stagnant improvement, having had the same number for the past three tests. As I reflect on what we were doing when the numbers were going down. Returning to one fresh juice a day would be ideal. Hoping for an appetite increase, and he does have times of being hungry. Maybe not for fresh carrot/vegetable juice...but he is compliant with drinking it when I offer.
The oxycodone and oxycotin are not much help at the highest dose. The MD called about a pain patch, and after talking with the pharmacist Tuesday I did leave a message that we would like that patch.  I hope to reach Dr. Weber today as I know he was out Wednesday.
We are using some alternatives that seem to be helpful, and makes him sleepy, which is good. The body heals while sleeping.
As I research treatments for lymphatic stasis the ozone treatments again come to the forefront, which was also what the alternative oncologist had recommended for bulged discs for cancer patients. I found a machine that has a very good reputation, and very expensive as well.  The owner of the company did tell me this morning he has a refurbished one available.  I am continuing to search, praying for wisdom and discernment.
The kids seem to be doing well - Abby shares stories with her dad and I, and laughs (once she gets over a bad day at school, learning to cope with kids who say mean words).  Kyle is focused on his trench actiivty and keeps the kitchen clean, or tries to.
Spring yardwork is overwhelming, and I imagine the best we can hope for is painting the house this summer as the remodeling money is nearly depleted and residing is out of the question. We are blessed that my Arbonne business has been continuous and replaces my full time income, but that said - it doesn't cover treatments.
I believe disability checks should be starting this month. I should know that, but frankly there are not enough hours in the day to keep; up with everything.

Several requests:
Jesse would like a wren house, and sadly cannot build one. He would like one mounted by the bay window so he could watch it.

If someone has a small rototiller we have 4 raised beds that would be an easy turn so I could get my seeds in.

I would love for lady friends to come help me with the backyard - perhaps we could listen to music and sit around the firepit after.

Speaking of firepit, we may need to replace that. Keep an eye out at garage sales for me please.  Jesse enjoys the fire and it would be nice if we can get him out there this spring.

At some point we will likely need a wheelchair ramp to code...so I need to contact the Lion's club about that.

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers. God is good and is constant, even when our day to day is ever changing.

Peace,
Rita

Meeting A Healer of Like Faith

Good evening,

Before retiring for the night I just have to share how God worked on our behalf today... We were referred to doctor in Illionois who has a bioenergetic machine that can analyze what is going on with Jesse. When we walked into the clinic first thing I noticed were bibles in the waiting room. Alleluia!!

As we finished up our appointment, with some very interesting finds, btw, and although the machine did not pick up that Jesse had unresolved emotions the doctor did say, "The analysis did not indicate an unresolved emotional need, but I have to ask, do you  have everything right with the Lord?" woot woot!!  Loved it...and was glad to share how we feel God is using this experience for the kingdom, to learn and help others, and bring people to Christ (we do have a new Sister because of our journey and Jesse sharing his testimony via this blog).

We praised God for sending us to one of His servants. I am praying that this man would consider mentoring me so I can continue to learn and help others. And I am praying that God will put people in our path that would have an interest in investing in the machine this doctor is using, in trade for services. My goodness...if people utilizied the analysis this machine provides, it could help a person realize what underlying issues they have, before they become cancer.

 Jssse tested very high in fungus, several parasites, and a form of lyme's disease (secondary) that the doctor had not had anyone test positive for before. Prostate cancer is present, but the cancer carcinoma (which I read is the spread of) is lighlty active. We are waiting for a test to come back from the Mayo that should actually tell us the state of metatastic activity.

Recently I have read that bacteria and parasites can lodge in the lower lumbar and contribute to bulged discs, and admit I was not completely surprised at the finds. We also had mold in our bathroom at one time, about 17 years ago - and seeing as Jesse had the bout with lung disease (pulmonary pneumonitis) it makes sense that he has a fungal infection. Just suppose the lung issue was not due to the parrots we were raising, but the mold in the house...

Fortunately, thanks to fall fundraisers, we do have a Wellness Pro frequency machine, so we don't need to keep revisiting the dcotor  to neutralize these issues with electro pulse therapy. I had a long list of frequencies to program in to our machine specifically neutralize the major concerns in Jesse's body.

Jesse's day began pretty rough last Wednesday. He was depressed - not linking that he had to go back to using crutches, which he had not used since November. He felt a bit nauseous on the drive down, and was very tired during the appointment. Fortunately the doc had some essential peppermint oil that I could rub on Jesse's neck to alleviate the nausea. Having treatment by a fellow believer who wanted to know if we were connecting with Christ through all of this, greatly raised Jesse's spirits. Jesse said he realized that Satan had been at work in him earlier in the morning, and that the pain he was experiencing was most likely the Dark's attempt at keeping us from being in the Light of a healer who also knows Him.

Thank you for your continued prayers dear friends!

Rita

A Calm March

As March wraps up I figure this blog is overdue for an update. I feel like we are in a holding pattern...no significant changes one way or the other.
The new CBD oil did nothing to raise hemoglobin levels....not that it has ever been put to trial for that. But we were hopeful it would trigger something in the body to make improvements in that regard. Granted, Jesse did not take the suggested amount, which was 4 droppers a day to equate 18 mg like the CBD paste we had been using, but he is doing his best.
We did receive an interpretation from the MD who read Jesse's thermography scans...no sign of tumor walls (which is very good...aka no tumor activity), and the large lesion in Jesse's right leg is described as scar tissue from the bulged disc issue.  This  gives us great hope...we visually see the Lord at work healing in the scans.
However, when we showed the scans to the oncologist with the letter this week...and Dr. Hobbins invitation for Jesse's doctor to call and discuss, it was quickly dismissed as unreliable information.
I wished I had thought to point out that we spent money on full body scans, in the first place, because my request for a follow up MRI was not addressed, and we wanted a new baseline before starting the new brand of CBD oil.
It was disheartening to have our efforts to try and determine progress dismissed so quickly...and the cancer doc won't give the other, very well respected MD, the time of day to even make a phone call. It affected Jesse mentally, as he was pretty down on Thursday.
No big changes in Jesse's blood numbers...he is holding his own without shortness of breath, but tired. At least he does seem to be falling asleep more readily and remains so...
This past Saturday he ventured to the woodworking store on Monona Dr. He is getting the itch to do some woodworking. He is tired of being tired and resting, and wants to do something that excites him again...like woodworking.
The weather is warming..I think it is time to get a crew to organize Jesse's woodworking shop...which I admit, became a little clutterd when I worked on clearing out and refreshing the other part of the building, which Jesse christened our "health and wellness center".... I like that....
We continue to feel blessed each day, we trust God is working for us...and are grateful for each of you and your prayers.

Rita

Thermography Scans This Past Week - Waiting on Interpretation

This past week we had several appointments. and we thank you for prayers. Prolotherapy, which is similar to acupuncture with some type of electrical transmitter into the cells - to help with Jesse's lower lumbar.

We also had full body thermography scans done on Wednesday and are still waiting for interpretation. I have been wanting to do this since last September - and am thankful for Jesse's co-workers, once again, whose change jar collection paid for this process.

We won't get the official thermography report until later in the month, as the radiology specialist did the scans hours  before leaving for a conference for a week.  However, we did converse with Dr. Jim Hobbins, who was one of the first doctors to offer thermography in Wisconsin, over the phone Friday. Retired, but sharp in mind and a delight to talk to - a wonderful Christian man who proclaimed the love of Christ several times in our conversation.

Sue Springstead did our scans - she does this at Isthmus Acupuncture, for anyone interested. She is the only person I know of who does full body scans. For women wanting to avoid the radiation of mammograms, I highly recommend Sue. Her number is 608-445-9151

Sue had  sent a hard copy of Jesse's scans to Dr.Hobbins. 91 yrs old, lives in Madison - very sharp in mind.  He had wanted us to know that the one long lesion - indicated by green - in Jesse's right upper leg, was a nerve lesion due to the bulged disc, and not from cancer. As we don't see any other hot spots in the right leg, that gives us hope as originally we were told his biggest lesion, per the PET scan, was in his right femur.   The upper body, seems to be another story, we have plenty there yet to deal with - I suspect. Again, we need to wait for a professional report, but I know people are wondering...

I recently conversed with a biotech company that is working with Dr. Wei Chen of the University of Central Oklahoma in cancer research using their CBD oil product.  Dr. Chen is received the 2008 U.S. Professor of the Year Award, and 

2011 Oklahoma Medal for Excellence Winner. Chen is conducting cancer research

The founder of the company had shared that a stage 4 patient being fed intravenously gained 5 lbs in 8 days, and I have read several of the reports and interviews with the doctor's research. We were sent a month supply,-it's a CO2 processed CBD oil (from industrial hemp plant) .and the processing maintains phytonutrients and terpenes. When we brought this up to the oncologist he had been reading benefits of terpenes for cancer patients. 

Prayer requests:
For Jesse to remain diligent in taking the CBD supplement ...it tastes awful, and he has to take 4 droppers full each day for 30 days
Continued prayer for strength in legs to return
Continued prayers for reduction of inflammation
Continued prayers for longer periods of sound sleep
Prayers that our entire family learns the lesson God is providing us in this journey.

Thank you everyone,
Rita

Latest oncology visit

Hello friends
Jesse had an oncology appointment yesterday, so blood for lab work was drawn the previous day. The clinic called Wednesday morning to let us know Jesse's red blood cell count had dipped below the minimum acceptable, and he should schedule a transfusion.
I asked what symptoms he should be experiencing and thought it odd he seems to exhibit fatigue only, from the list. The ND agreed it would be a benefit, and started the process of getting him scheduled.  But then I realized that hey, this is not my body and Jesse should decide.
We talked with the oncologist about it, who really was surprised that Jesse wasn't experiencing more symptoms. He told Jesse what he should be on the alert for, explained the blood transfusion process, and I believe put Jesse at ease.
Tonight a friend offered to give blood for Jesse if receiving blood from a stranger is a concern...as we believe them to be a match.
Two good bits of news is that a marker that indicates cellular growth is down, meaning, as we understand, possible less cancer or tumor growth activity.
Also a marker that indicates a chemical the bones are releasing has changed...a chance some bone healing may have taken place. Let's hope so!

Thank you all for your prayers.
In GOd's peace
Rita

Ozone Therapy for Bulged Discs

Hello freinds

Tonight Jesse and I had another opportunity to be on a call with an integrative oncologist, Dr. Tony Jimenez, from Hope4Cancer clinic in Baja, CA.  This is actually one of the clinics I had selected after hearing Dr. Tony speak earlier this past summer in the "Quest for the Cure" cancer summit series.  Unfortunately, the cost is prohibitive as insurance of course, only covers conventional treatment. 

Previously Jesse was in a lot of pain and flying him out of state, to anywhere, seemed out of the question, but he is very optimistic - several days of being pretty much pain free - just wanting strength back in the legs more than anything.

I have about 6 pages of typed notes to compile, but  I see Dr. Tony covers the 7 principles in the free e-book Integrative Health Mastery was kind enough to provide. If you would like a copy please provide your email and I can forward to you.

Feel free to share the book with your loved ones in need.  For all of you fighting the good fight...a website Dr. Tony recommended to help deal with the emotional cause of cancer is

www.recallhealing.com

My biggest take away for Jesse in particular tonight, was Dr. Tony's response to my quest for the best anti inflammatory protocol or supplement for metastacized cancer with presence of three bulged discs. 

What we are already using are all great choices, however,  Dr. Tony said OZONE therapy - hands down the best treatment he has found for spinal issues resulting from bulged discs.  His 80+ year old mother had major back issues, bulged discs, and after one treatment she was 75% better. Injections are made into either side of the spine and lower lumbar.  One more treatment, this was several years ago, and now his mom lives a relatively pain free life with an occassional aspirin. What I would love to find out is who is doing ozone therapy injections in Madison - the Spinie Clinic perhaps....

Thanks to Google....Just found somone possibliy in Oak Park, IL that may have a similar technique, but combined..

The site found two D.O. doctors in Wisconsin - UW Helath Eau Claire (really? why not here in Madison), and another in Milwaukee.  Being so close - this is definitely something to dig deeper into.

To your health,
Rita

Valentine's Day - Pain Free Blessings

Hello friends,
We are having a good stretch. Jesse said he feels pain free...and has been for several days now. What he really desires is to have STRENGTH back in his legs. Do you know anyone who has had atrophy in both legs from sciatica/bulged discs? And if so, did they recover? I continue to find a greater difficulty dealing with Jesse's skelatol issues than the cancer.

I came across a powerful story today of a stage 4 breast cancer survivor. Shannon Knight is inspiring and for those of you visiting this page who is already on the cancer journey, I hope this video will inspire you as well.
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Shannon has started a non profit called Angels for Shannon - to help people who need funds for their alternative cancer treatment. I do hope my three late stage breast cancer friends do check it out. I am going to ask, but it may not be for breast cancer only.

We continue to review the new outline from our naturopath....it's a lot of work in the kitchen...and it is overwhelming. I hope to find time tomorrow to send an email to our church care ministry with the special soup recipe and see if members of our church family could provide jars that we can freeze. The diet outline consists primarily of juicing (again), the special soup, and a huge salad recipe, of which we really cannot fathom having room in our frig for all the ingredients.  Because the doctor feels Jesse's body is not able to metabolize and break down animal proteins and complex fats with his overworked pancreas, it is back to vegan world.

Jesse is grateful for the reprieve in pain...and it is difficult to determine credit going to a new supplement, Reiki energy work, chiropractic...or all three.  Thank you for your continued support and prayers.

Blessings,
Rita

Steady Numbers

Many of you are waiting for test results...the test we had sent before Christmas was lost enroute to the Phillipines, but the newest one made it in record time, after the holiday crazy season.

The numbers for "active cancer cells" had been going down, and the report we got back just yesterday is stable (same as end of October). Which means that Jesse needs to recommit to the alkaline, no sugar diet I had had him on. It is tough, for certain. He did well yesterday, taking ALL of his supplements for the first time in a long time. As a person who cannot stand to swallow pills - I cannot imagine having to do this myself.   From his bloodwork the ferritin levels are quite elevated, which is directly related to the inflammation going on in his body/lumbar, feet, etc.

Continued prayers - STRENGTH needed for his legs, and his mental well being - the psyche needed to follow the regimen is huge!  Also please prayer for STRUCTURAL HEALING - our greatest prayer is for Jesse's spine to stay put - especially that darn sacrum (tailbone)!  The swelling is down in his feet - that is a huge praise. Yesterday he came home early and did a BioMat "sandwich" session - all by himself. Proud of him!  In the eve I hooked him up to the Wellness Pro for bio-electro pulse therapy, and I could tell right away this morning that he is moving much better today.

These scriptures from Isaiah 26, which I was led to from the morning devotion of "Jesus is Calling" spoke to my heart today...
"You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you."3  
"Yes Lord, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts."8  
"Lord you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us" 12

So very grateful that we have Jesus to walk with us on this journey...I don't know how people get through cancer without that personal relationship...which is so very different from organized religion.

Several have asked, "can't the test be done in the U.S.?"
The test, developed by Dr. Efren Navarro of the clinic of the same name, costs only $55. To do in the U.S. it would be anywhere from $300-400 (insurance won't cover) and it would be less accurate, because the greatest liklihood is is that blood would be drawn by a lab, which is less accurate than uric acid crystals. The side bar explains this and you can visit the Narvarro web page to get this information..

Thank you for your continued love, prayer and support,
Rita

Lymphatic Issues

We had good newsyesterday, as far as we are concerned - swollen lymph glands are what we are dealing with - far better than tumors.  All tests were not in yet...but oncologist said Jesse may be slightly anemic which is an easy fix with B12.   I will need to find my compression socks from when I had back surgery -as it should help with swelling.  Because both feet are swollen, and it varies in how much swelling, it is not indicative of a blood clot. 

Jesse had a lymph massage with the DO doctor after the massage and she showed me how to pump his legs and shoulders slightly to get the lymph nodes moving.  She said it is important not to work the lymph directly in case they are filled with dead cancer cells...as we don't want to accidentally release them back into the system. The lymph nodes will empty when the body is capable of safely eliminating.

It has been a while since Jesse had been on a scale and it was a very good surprise - I had to question whether their scale was off because he is up 8 lbs or so from the highest number we had had. To me it seems that he doesn't  have as good an appetite as he did in November. The last time we had weighed at home he had actually lost lbs. from his previous high gain - so it was encouraging to see it surpassed.

Thanks so much for the continued prayers - you are all a blessing to us.

Rita S.

Grateful for Troubled Times

This is certainly a journey of learning. Learning how to be still and absorb God's Holy presence. Learning to look for the life lessons we are to be taking from this. Learning to be patient. Learning to be watchful for the doors being opened and messages we are to take to heart, and for purpose. This morning I was led to verses Psalm 27, Jeremiah and Romans 8:28. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

Our church is going through the book of Job since the new year, a series called "Wrecked". The messages have been very good, although the worship music usually brings me to tears - which is typical of music. It reaches deep into my core of emotions and makes them erupt. I encourage anyone who suspects that their life may go through a difficult time, to start at the very first message in the Wrecked series.

I am trying not to be discouraged in this journey, but it is not always easy. Since the holidays, and Jesse's admittance of being tired of eating healthy, I have relented - allowing sugar/simple carbs during the holidays, which had an immediate effect....aka inflammation, and thus pain. For a while, shortly after Thanksgiving, Jesse was using right crutches due to the pain in his right hip and leg. He is a grown man and needs to make his own choices. We had already decided a while back to take a break on weekends from supplements - other than the key hormonal supplements directed at prostrate cancer, guided by our doctor friend in California.

Jesse went back to work after Christmas, wanting to keep the doctors and insurance we have. He enjoys being back to work and doing what he loves to do - CAD drafting. It takes his mind off of his illness. He is on limited hours, enough to be considered full time and maintain his benefits. The first two weeks were tough - he was exhausted when he came home. When the polar vortex hit the last thing I wanted him to do was go out into those below zero temperatures (I had learned that cancer thrives in a cold body). I cranked the space heater given to us at Christmas, and warmed up the BioMat and electric lap blanket to help take the chill out of his bones... I am not sure that the chill ever really left him before nightfall - and we are grateful for this warmer week.

Protocols are being missed due to lack of time when he is gone six hours a day. If he were working from home, at least for part of the day, I could be hooking Jesse up to the Wellness Pro for electro pulse therapy sessions. This has been very good for his lumbar pain.  He could take a break to be sandwiched between BioMats - which has not been done since his return to work. Emotionally I have a tough time with him being gone so many hours in the day because I know all too well how important and life saving both of these high tech pieces of equipment are - FDA approved for treatment of cancer and pain.

We have physical developments that are concerning....swelling in both feet, his circulation is not working properly. His feet need to be elevated, and keeping them down through the day definitely makes it worse. I noticed this on Saturday when Jesse put a small corner desk together, so he can have a place to use his CAD software/computer. I had wanted Kyle to assist with putting the desk together, but Jesse was on his knees doing it...saying he enjoys it and misses it. I can't argue with that - a man's desire to have some degree of normalcy return to his life. But in the evening I noticed both feet badly swollen and there was no way he was getting his feet into shoes for church on Sunday. Suffice to say - he can't take a break at work, and put his feet up.

There are also three visible lumps in the lymphatic groin area. We pray they are swollen lymph glands. These appeared about ten days ago. Today we head to oncology and later, the DO doctor - as I moved up our appointment to see her and find out if the lumps are indeed lymph swelling. Jesse had not had lymphatic massage for over a month, and I suspect it is too long a span. In talking with a friend, also in stage 4 cancer, she mentioned her tumor markers are down. This is not something we have ever heard Jesse's doctor mention - and I will be questioning it today. Why has a blood test not been taken to measure tumor markers? I will have to ask.

Thank you for your continued prayers. We are grateful for God's presence and the Healing that is taking place, even though we tire in our journey.

Peace.
Rita

Research on Cannabinoid

With so many of our friends suffering from late stage cancer, I find it is imperative to share this information on the biological effects/benefits of CBD on cancer.
The man in the video was diagnosed with late stage prostrate cancer, and was given the clear in 3 months of a tumor using cannabinoid. However, it is interesting that a separate test did locate additional lesions - in which the man decided to continue treatment for 3 additional months, at the end of which he was cancer-free.
This non-invasive alternative treatment needs to be shared...and therefore, we are. May it be a benefit to those who have lost hope.

-Rita